Clash Of The Roommates: What To Do When You Get Placed With The Polar Opposite

By Francine Fluetsch on February 26, 2014

This article is brought to you by Uloop’s roommate search service. Need a roommate? Use Uloop’s roommate search to find both male and female college students that are looking to find roommates like yourself. 

image via www.sodahead.com

It’s hard enough to live with people you know, but living with a stranger is a new task in itself. Sure you filled out a mannerism application when you signed up for housing, but who is completely truthful on those anyway? Someone who is extremely messy isn’t going to put that on their application because they either don’t know that they are “that” messy, or they don’t want to get stuck with someone who is worse than them. It’s really the luck of the draw when it comes to the person/people you are paired up to live with.

Sarah Guinon, first year linguistics major at UC Santa Cruz said “being with roommates, especially the first year, is like being in a very awkward arranged marriage.” This is a perfect description of the situation we were all thrown into. You could end up with an awesome roommate (bless your soul) or with a roommate from hell.

image via www.wikihow.com

Communicate with one another: If you have a problem with your roommate, you have to let them know because they can’t read your mind (which is probably a good thing). The longer you don’t bring up the problem, the harder it will be to fix. I know it can be really awkward, especially if you hate conflict, but you will only be hurting yourself by keeping your concerns in the dark. Want to bring something up to them but don’t know how? Here are some suggestions:

1) Bring it to their attention nicely: A lot of problems can be solved just by telling your roommate that they are doing something that is bothering you. They probably had no idea.

Ex: “Hey Stephanie, would you mind if we turn the TV off at 10? I have an 8 a.m. tomorrow.”

I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but confronting people can be really intimidating! As long as you say things in a nice voice, your roommate should cooperate.

2) Sticky notes: If confrontation isn’t your thing, try leaving a sticky note for your roommate telling them about the problem. This way you don’t have to be around when they read what is bothering you, so they will have a chance to process it before you get back. The drawback to this is it might not be as effective as actually telling them, since they might not take it as seriously, but give it a try!

image via wrestlemeyesl.wordpress.com

3) Hint at the problem: Depending on your roommate, you may be able to get the message across while not stating it outright.

Ex: If you ALWAYS take out the trash, let it get full and complain about the smell. Hopefully your roommate will get the hint that they should take it out.

From our friends at wikihow, here are 5 steps to tell someone politely that they are being annoying.

Pick your battles: If you finally muster up the courage to tell your roommate a problem and they don’t seem to take it seriously, you’ll have to tell them again, but in a way that they know that what they are doing is not okay.

The thing is, if they are inconsiderate (which I can assume your roommate is if they don’t care about your complaint) you are going to have to pick your battles, and decide which points of annoyance are the most important to you to change. If your roommate is always loud, messy, and stays up too late, you’ll probably have to pick one problem to focus on and attempt to endure the other ones.

Guinon said the most important aspect for her is sleep.

image via www.wikihow.com

“There are over thousands of places around campus to break up with someone on the phone, to do homework, or to have ‘alone-time’ with your significant other, but there is only one place on this campus where you can sleep with your own pillow and relax.”

Here are some ways to deal with annoyances if you want to focus on something bigger:

-If they stay up late with the light on try using an eye mask. It takes some getting used to but works wonders.

-If they like to be really loud when you are trying to sleep, invest in some earplugs (if you can stand them). I couldn’t personally sleep with them in, but give them a go!

-If they are messy try and keep your area clean so the room doesn’t look like it’s eating itself. You can also have your friends come over a lot and maybe make jokes about the messiness. This might inspire your roommate to clean.

Attempt to stay civil: If your roommate is still doing things that you asked them to stop, still try and stay civil. I know it can be hard, but if you stay friendly and show them that you are willing to work through your problems, the situation could still get better. One of the best things to do is to not be around them all the time.

You could:

-Study in a café with your friends

image via memegenerator.net

-Join a sports team or club

-Chill at your friends place

Of course it is your room too and you want to feel at home, but if you and your roommate are always stuck together, conflict will more easily break out.

Here is an article on Lifehacker, by Laura Schluckebier, on how to be a good roommate and deal with someone who isn’t.

Get help: If you got the full “roommate from hell” that is simply making your life miserable, it is time to get help. No, you aren’t a snitch and don’t you dare think that! You should feel safe and at home at school, and if your roommate is causing extra stress then you need to figure out a better situation.

If you just want the problem resolved but don’t want to move, it would be best to talk to an RA (residential assistant) and let them know the problem. It will be a bit awkward afterwards, but hopefully you and your roommate can move past it.

If, however, the situation has become beyond repair, you will have to take action with a higher authority. This is different for all colleges, but there is usually a housing adviser of some sort that you will be able to contact.

image via www.sodahead.com

Lindsay Banks, a second year psychology student at UC Santa Cruz, was stuck in a situation with a crazy roommate last year, who created a lie to frame Banks and force her to move out. Banks attempted to look for a different room, but all the other roommates looked bad so she decided to stand her ground and fight for the room she was currently in.

“My advice,” Banks said, “is always be in contact with the housing office and don’t piss them off.”

You are definitely going to want the housing office in your corner, and if you contact them first, they will already have the situation from your side of the story. Banks ended up winning the room because she stayed calm and collected and was in favor with the housing office.

If you don’t want to go to the housing office, Yahoo Answers provides some interesting ways to get someone to move out.

In conclusion: Don’t let this freak you out; most roommates manage to last through the whole year. As long as you both respect one another, you’ll make it work even if you aren’t the best of friends. Tell them your problems, but also make sure to respect their wishes and don’t be a hypocrite.

Read through Uloop’s numerous college roommate profiles to meet other students that are looking to share apartments, condos, town homes and even rental homes.

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