My Ongoing Roommate Experience

By Mike Reynolds on January 17, 2013

Everyone knows about, or has had as a roommate, that one guy who nobody can stand. He doesn’t clean up after himself, plays his music way too loud while you’re studying, brings his friends back to the room at 3 AM while you’re trying to sleep. The list goes on and on. My story is a little bit different. Going into the second semester of my junior year, I have had five different roommates, and am going to be meeting my sixth one this upcoming semester. Some were okay, some were unbearably awful, and others were completely invisible. So it goes without saying that I’ve had a lot of different roommates and plenty of stories to tell, but this is also a story of self discovery. No reasonable person should have a different roommate for every semester they have been in college. Is there a chance I am the bad roommate everybody is so desperately trying to avoid?

My first roommate coming into college was very much like myself. He had a twin brother and really enjoyed video games. He was much more into the games than I was, but when you find something you like you go with it, and I always thought what he wanted to do was an incredibly awesome career path if he could pull it off. He was nice, funny sometimes, and a good person in general. Being a good person doesn’t necessarily pave the way toward being a good roommate. His first big problem was his cleanliness. He didn’t clean up after himself whatsoever. His clothes and garbage constantly made its way to my side of the room, and the stink from his side of the room could be smelt from outside in the hallway. I am not exactly the cleanest and most organized person myself, so for me to have a problem with it says something for how terrible it became as the semester wore on. The second, and probably biggest problem there was, was his awkwardness. When he got used to me I noticed he was fairly regular, but when he was out in a group or around anyone else you could see how terrified he was to be put on the spot. The levels of awkward were often cringe worthy when he would try to talk around more than one other person. His only real friend group at the time was the same as my own, and he would always come with me whenever I went to hang out with them. The more we all hung out as a group, the more my friends’ contempt for him became obvious and just added to the problem. Eventually he stopped attempting to hang out with us, and the rest of the time that semester became him being mostly by himself in our room playing video games, adding to the already insurmountable mess in the room. At this point I tried to spend as much time away from the room as possible, and bode my time until the semester ended and I could finally move out.

Second semester of freshman year was pretty good. My roommate and I already knew each other, so there were no problems. I had thought I found my place to stay, at least for longer than it ended up lasting, but alas my first good rooming situation ended when he became a Resident Assistant. So I was left with no roommate, and no options of people I already knew to move in with. I prepared to delve back into the realm of random roommates.

My third roommate was an incoming freshman, so I knew I was already in for a treat. I decided to suck it up and be a good friend/roommate and help him with any questions he might have. Through a bit of questioning I found out he lives close and he is a weather maniac. It’s always good to have a passion, right?

Wrong. Roommate #2 talked about weather like a missionary trying to spread Christianity. This goes for anyone who really likes something. Trust me, we’re all happy you like it, but I’m not interested at waking up at 2:30 in the morning to watch lightning (Yes, this really happened). On top of this, he managed to be incredibly loud and obnoxious. It got to the point where everyone in my entire hallway was annoyed with him constantly. Trying to study in my room was completely impossible because his understanding of manners was completely nonexistent. Like my older roommate, he spent most of his time in the room. He wasn’t an introvert, but he went home every weekend, so he never had a chance to really connect with people, which was really unfortunate for my sanity. I lived out the rest of that semester constantly hating him in my thoughts, unable to cope with how immeasurably annoying he was. All the while I couldn’t wait to move in with my new roommate, who was also one of my best friends on campus.

Lady Luck was not on my side, and another roommate was taken from me by the call to become an RA. So, naturally, I decided to get a random roommate, because that had worked out so well for me the first two times. I ended up getting a transfer who was going to be playing for the lacrosse team. I couldn’t be more excited to finally have a roommate who might share in my love of sports. Frankly though, I couldn’t tell you one way or the other whether he was or wasn’t what I thought he was. I met him on move in day for about 20 minutes before he was running out to his lacrosse practices, and it turned into a theme for the rest of the semester. I can’t say I ever sat down and had a real conversation with him, even though we shared a living space. He was always out the door before I woke up, and came back by the time I was asleep. He went home on weekends because he lived about an hour away and worked for his town’s fire department. I was pretty much living alone, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it.

During this time I took advantage of the fact that I had a roommate who was never there. I used his bed and his TV all the time. I took plastic utensils out of his closet. I drank his water bottles. He told me most of this stuff was okay, but I can safely say I abused my privileges because he was never around to say no, and he rarely even noticed it happening. On top of that, I got messy. I ordered a ton of food that semester because I worked and didn’t have much time to eat otherwise. Generally I didn’t really clean up the mess, and the room ended up being a disaster area as a result.  I didn’t think I was being a bad roommate, but every time we were in the room together there was silence. No matter how much I tried he wasn’t interested in trying to be friends, and I just thought he was doing his own thing. I never considered the fact that I might finally be on the other end of the spectrum I had become so accustomed to.

He moved out at the end of the semester, saying all the things someone might say if they were breaking up with a significant other. It didn’t bother me then because I had no relationship with him as a person anyway, but now I think back and have realized that I was a terrible roommate to him.

Everybody knows that one person who nobody wants to live with, but you’re never going to be able to avoid it. Bad roommates are just a part of the college life. Something you can avoid is being the bad roommate yourself. It’s easy to point it out when someone else is doing it, but if you don’t think about it you might end up becoming that person without even realizing it. Be aware of the kind of person you would want to live with and try to reflect that on yourself. If you have problems with your roommate, be calm and talk it out. It’s not too hard to maintain a happy and healthy living environment if you put a little effort into it.

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